Story update and thoughts of a busy schedule

This post will serve as somewhat of a sounding board for me to organize my thoughts, as writing often does for me.

I think I'm going to have to scrap my current short story idea. While there are a lot of new elements that I've incorporated into it (namely the sexual aspect), I feel that not all of it flows particularly well. It's kind of like I've got pieces to a puzzle but it's not the puzzle I was actually working on at the time. I'd like to take those pieces and reorganize them into different stories so I can make something I'll actually be pleased with. I'm still highly interested in completed either part of a story or an entire short story this holiday season, but it's going to have to wait a little bit.

I'm committed to the fantasy genre and to developing memorable characters and settings inside of it. It's very much a work-in-progress most of the time, but eventually I want to push the envelope in a tasteful and intriguing way that calls some things we accept as certainties into question. In all likelihood I'm going to have to expand my writing repertoire by reading more and choosing what I read carefully. I recognize that may take a while and will continue writing in the meantime to try to improve on that front as well.

In other news, I've been giving increasing thought to things and hobbies I've always wanted to do but have never taken up either because I felt I didn't have the time or because I didn't have as strong of an interest at that time. However, I'm wondering if some of it might be too much on my plate right now. The MBA program keeps me plenty busy. Combine that with curling, writing, music, and a social life, and you've got one hell of a tough schedule to keep. What will likely happen is that the focus will shift back and forth continuously in such a way that I focus on a given two or three of them at a time. Only time will tell.

Thoughts on growth and holiday expectations

Ah the holidays...A time of family, togetherness, gifts, and...Oh yeah, exams. So many of us have them. So many of us have had them. In my case, I have probably had over 40 of them by now. They usually fall on my birthday (Dec. 17th). But not this year.

That makes me think. The past years have seen a lot of changes for a lot of people. In my own life I've had a big shift in outlooks and attitudes over the past 6 years or so. I also did a lot of growing up and I've still got a lot of growing up before me. I've noticed that the same can be said for other people too and I think that's a good thing.

The change has indeed been growth. Sure, not everyone's circumstances changed for the best at all times. Bad things happened to me, bad things happened to others. I think we all came out stronger for it in the end, though.

Christmas is the one holiday where everyone is supposed to be happy. For that reason, it makes sense why we started doing New Years resolutions. People who aren't happy see that as a time to make a change in their lives. Still, I think that sometimes too much attention is paid to those traditions. Maybe it should be less about forced happiness for some people and more about some type of reflection, noticing that even if things aren't going that great for you that there is a better outlook in the future. After all, when you look at the past and consider the bad things that have happened, we all got through them before so what would be so different about this time?

For those of us who are having a good holiday season (and oh boy am I ever!), carry on and enjoy the festive spirit.

Life is about finding something that makes you happy in any given situation, no matter how challenging it might be. In that way, we can all relate no matter what condition we're in. I think it's the outlook that's most important. If you've got a positive outlook then you'll find more good in the world whereas if you're outlook is negative you'll focus on the bad. People find what they expect to find. Situations, life, and the holidays flow like a river. I've said it before and I'll say it again: We're in a boat and we're floating down that river, so try to enjoy the trip, okay?

Excerpt from my new short story

Warning! The following is not PG, proceed with caution.

I’ve been a father and a husband.

I’ve been widowed before too.

I’ve loved and been in love and know enough to know that there is a difference between the two. My first wife, Carolyn, was kind and gentle, worthy of any man’s devotion. Initially, I could not reciprocate her love for me. Our marriage was a political one, an alignment of Duke and Duchess to strengthen ties between neighbouring provinces and the realm as a whole. It was only when my wife had fallen ill that I began to truly love her. But as I’ve stated prior, I was not in love with her.

The difference between loving and being in love – I have often wondered if it lies within the stirrings of one’s inner being, the drive to want and need a person wholly, or is it in the intent; that vessel of the mind that allows one to truly fall in love. I have been wondering that since I met Jasmine, around a year after Carolyn’s passing.

It began first as lust and casual dalliances, but evolved into somewhat else. Certainly not love. But there was a dependence growing between the two of us like a sweet addiction. That addiction soon bore fruit in the form of a child: my little angel, Rebecca, the third of the three women most important in my life. But even Rebecca, in all her splendor and my glory at having had her, was not what eventually made me fall in love with Jasmine. I can’t explain it other than to say that it fits. The chemistry between us is undeniable and, though I still grieve for Carolyn, I have never been happier in my life.

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She smiled and then we kissed, her tongue darting between my lips as my hands caressed her, helping her out of the gown. Our lips parted and she flung herself on the bed, slipping off the rest of the gown, lying naked before me. Her body was beautiful and my pulse quickened at the sight of her. At once, I tore off my shirt and undid my breeches with difficulty, finally managing to get them by my hard phallus. As I sank into the bed she spread her legs and then I finally took her.

Hard.

And fast.

Our lovemaking was at once a race and a long-distance run. The pace was excruciating. We were insatiable. Again and again, I took her from every possible angle to every possible climax, holding off on my own until I finally spent myself and my seed within her.

That was the first of many such dalliances.

Update, plus figuring out what I'll do with my free time

My final exam is tomorrow at 4pm so I'm less than 24 hours away from freedom. It's going to be a tough one but everything will work out fine. The free time I'll have after this will be formidable. Invigilation leaves you with free time too. Which brings me to what I'll end up doing with all this free time. Funny, sometimes my thoughts are actually simple.

Good news for those of you who actually enjoy my writing. It's highly likely that I'm going to start writing another short story on Tuesday. It'll probably fall somewhere within a ten page limit with what I have planned so it won't be too much of an inconvenience for anyone to read. Look for more outlandish ideas and themes to be presented. Unlike the last one I wrote, which was based off a close friend's dream, this will be purely from my own mind so there will be more flexibility in terms of what I can do with setting and characters. Look for that to be done in short order if I'm not too busy.

It's my birthday this Saturday! This can only mean one thing: Drinking. All day. I've nothing formal planned at this time so if anyone wants to hang out or drink or whatever, it's probably better to get in touch with me over the phone. If you want to talk to someone coherent I would call in the early afternoon.

I think my plan for getting a keyboard for the purpose of eventually learning the piano might be getting the green light too. I'm half-considering waiting until Boxing Day or something to get a better deal on it. We'll see how that works out.

This will be by far the most free time I've had since September 1st. Chances are it might be a shock to my system to not be constantly on the move or doing work for classes, etc. It's a time to catch up on things but also a time to have some fun and pursue some hobbies I can't normally pursue during the semester. Things likely only get busier from here on out so it's best for me to savour each moment as they come. Hell, the same can be said of any situation in daily life, I guess.

That's about it for the update. Hopefully next time I post it will be a snippet of my new short story.

Ethics of Self-advertising

Recent developments and stirrings I've noticed in other people has compelled me to ask the question: "Is it enough to be good at certain things or should we make concious efforts to advertise ourselves?" The crux of the matter being whether or not its acceptable to possibly be seen as cocky or relying on others' observations. It's a difficult question to answer that requires a precarious balance between the two positions.

On the one hand, if you don't tell people that you're an excellent surgeon, guitarist, lawyer, or what-have-you, how would they ever know unless they were looking specifically for a good surgeon, guitarist, or lawyer? People find what they expect to find when they're looking for something. If you don't tell them what to look for, who will?

The other side of the coin is that, while this is great and socially accepted for products and whatnot, it might not be as acceptable for people. There is a big danger of being seen as a narcissist rather than someone who's good or confident. This might lead a lot of people to decide never to really advertise themselves. But is that so wise? Yes, I think that being seen as a narcissist is a bad thing, but I wonder if the risk of not being seen at all is worse. What is it that they say? Any press is good press?

But is that the name of the game we're playing? I would argue that it is. The world is becoming smaller and smaller with new technologies propelling us further and further every day. In such a world, where communication is ubiquitous and paramount, can we afford to not convey position?

I think the risk has to be taken. Is it vanity to want to be recognized for something you do well? Some people say yes. The question seems pointless so I'll just agree with it. Sure. Whatever. It's vanity. But we can be vain just as surely as we can be human. Why hide it? If you're worried about it, the best thing to do is try to establish some middle ground where people know about whatever unique skills you have but wouldn't call you an asshole for talking about them. And if they still think that you're being a douche then they're not worth it anyway. If anything it helps you recognize who you want to be around and who you don't.

So I guess to answer the question I somewhat posed above, I think that a middle ground should be established but I don't see the problem with people advertising themselves a little bit. Can those advertisements sometimes be in bad taste? Absolutely. And not everyone will agree with them or even like what's being sold. But think of it like this: If you see an advertisement on TV and you decide you don't like the product you don't buy it, right? Well, if people don't like what you're selling they won't bother with you anyway. So why not advertise yourself a bit? What's the worst that can happen?