Crossroads in our lives

            Sometimes I think of topics to write that make me uncomfortable for whatever reason. The easiest thing to do would be to not write about them at all and let everything sort itself out in the end. But I’ve come to realize that the most endearing pieces of work are those we feel uncomfortable with – regardless of their quality. To that end, I have written this with the hopes of putting ideas onto paper and finally to send them into the heads of others.

Throughout our lives we are constantly faced with choices. These choices constitute a multitude of possible outcomes at any given time, boiling down into a crossroads at which any given future is possible. Once a choice is made and a specific future is chosen, the others are no more.

            In my life I’ve seen many crossroads and thus have witnessed as many, if not more, futures. I’ve seen futures in which I work in a small town, knowing few people but with one woman who I love. We would work simple jobs and enjoy a slow pace of life. We would live in a remote house, surrounded by nature, where we could sit together and watch the nature around us. There would be deer frolicking in the spotted sunlight of the tree canopy overtop them. Above them, mountains too vast to scale jut out towards the sky and all the world would seem at peace. But ultimately, it would never be enough for me so I eliminate it as a future and that reality ceases to be, ambition winning over emotion and creating a different path in the process.

            Sometime later I am faced with another crossroads. This time I could be a rich and powerful man, having everything and everyone I wanted at my command. I would never be needful of money again and my power would stretch far, influencing many. But ultimately, it is a power without substance since it would be the money and the position compelling people rather than the person. Knowing this “happiness” to be a hollow prospect, I reject it and eliminate yet another future.

            In other crossroads I travel the world, seeing many things. In some I live as an artist and am happy with it. In others I rule the world or am ruled by the world. Sometimes I love and am loved and sometimes I never love and am met with no love in return. In my mind I worry what will happen if I never stop choosing to meet more crossroads. Where does that path end up?

            There are thousands of possibilities in life and I refuse to acknowledge one path as the “best” among them. Is it wrong to want the most optimal outcome? I have no idea. I look around me and see people settling for less than they deserve all the time because they’re afraid of risking what they have to get more. I’m no gambler but I’m not content with settling for anything. So if I have to choose at a thousand crossroads before I find the right choice then I’ll do just that.